Say No To Others And Yes To Yourself
by Stanley Bronstein on August 14, 2009During a 3 1/2 hour walk today, I came up with a thought I wanted to share.
Say No To Others And Yes To Yourself
No – (a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal, as in response to a question or request).
Yes – (used to express affirmation or assent or to mark the addition of something emphasizing and amplifying a previous statement).
Here a two things I want you to think about first:
1) You only have a limited amount of time each day, week, month, year, etc. Your time is finite.
2) You only have so much energy, be it emotional, physical, spiritual, whatever. Your energy is finite.
In other words, your resources are finite.
When You Give To Others, It Reduces The Amount Of Resources You Have Left For Yourself
It’s a simple equation.
If your time is finite and you give some of it away to someone else, you have less time left over for yourself.
If your energy is finite and you give some of it away to someone else, you have less energy left over for yourself.
If your resources are finite and you give some of them away to someone else, you have fewer resources left over for yourself.
But Isn’t It A Good Thing To Help Others
ABSOLUTELY, PROVIDED YOU LEAVE ENOUGH FOR YOURSELF SO THAT YOU ARE NO NEGLECTED.
If you give so much away that you don’t have enough for yourself, THEN it’s a problem.
I’m in the process of writing my fourth book and it focuses on the stories of many senior citizens. One recurring them throughout MANY of the stories is that these seniors spent a lifetime of helping others and now they need help for themselves.
Fortunately, these seniors are finding ways to get the help they need. BUT, wouldn’t it be nice is they would have had a little bit left over from what they gave during their lifetimes so that they could have helped themselves?
It’s All About Balancing Selfishness With Selflessness
Take a minute to look at the definition of the words selfish and selfless:
Selfish – devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
Selfless – having little or no concern for oneself, esp. with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish.
Both of these words are opposite ends of the spectrum. BUT, like most things in life, the best path is one that is balanced; one that takes the middle path.
The best way is to sometimes help others and to sometimes help yourself. Even better is if you’re able to find a way that helps BOTH others and yourself, AT THE SAME TIME.
Some Recommended Reading
Laws Of Positioning #4 – Position Yourself To Be Balanced
Laws Of Positioning #10 – Position Yourself To Be Caring
Laws Of Positioning #42 – Position Yourself To Be Generous
Until next time, take care.
Stanley F. BronsteinHave you checked out my website that profiles the benefits of walking? iWarriorWalk.com
August 18th, 2009 at 6:58 am
[...] Say No to Others And Yes to Yourself [...]
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Helping others, and not leaving time for myself is a common occurrence. Yet, what a reward it is to say yes to affirm our needs and feel balanced, as you suggest. I like your use of metaphors and great definitions!
Keep up the important work you are doing!
Bonnie
September 7th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I like to say if you don’t take care of yourself…..no one else will. Learning how to love ourselves is our way of saying you’re worth it, and other people get the message loud and clear also. It’s not selfish to be taking care of self. Thanks for the article.
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:00 am
yeah great philosophy there, too much of a good thing can have a destructive effect on u without awareness of ur own demise.
Wat happens when it comes to sacrifising ur life to save someone fitter or younger than u! do u assume they will be properly looked after and provide good to the world when ur gone or whether to learn from the selfish act of putting urself first,! each action is of equal reaction in the terms to the massess state of function, that gets influenced by seeing or beliiving this selfless act got carried out, or seeing the older give up the younger just for itself to live “should” influence that person to not want to do it. but only if the saved one knew of this sacrifise that someone else did for them . yet the knowledge that u saved someone elses life as ur last act should we assume is personal judgement defining its results and the boy wont grow up to be selfish because that is mass influence on the good meter? through self development of wat influences ur thoughts and actions u would i think be of knowing that ur time has come and u must sacrifise for the blind faith of ur own development as just a soul on its journey passing one great obstacle at a time!! if ur actions can be analysed as a test of ur abllity to juggle so much choice and power and not carry it as a burden of weight i think u would be given absolute power by urself. as above so below i imagine!!!! do u have any idea wat im talkin here or am i just babbling?
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:12 am
Purposeful imbalancing of equilibriums polar factors can gain exactly the same energetic volume in watever situation it subjects itself to, its down to the self experience of that imbalance that will gain balance again in a new environment or more than likely produce a new one or tenthous? if u get my concept!