Mr. Achievement - Stanley F. Bronstein - Personal Development BlogPersonal Development Blog of the Founder of the Achievement IQ Movement and Creator of the Laws of Positioning

Law #75

Position Yourself To Be Polite

Anyone can be polite to a king. It takes a gentleman to be polite to a beggar. (Author Unknown)

Fine manners are like personal beauty,–a letter of credit everywhere. (Cyrus Augustus Bartol)

Some Definitions

Anyone - Any person at all; anybody.

Can - To be able to; have the ability, power, or skill to. To have the right or qualifications to.

Polite - Showing good manners toward others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous. Marked by or showing consideration for others, tact, and observance of accepted social usage.

King - A male sovereign or monarch; a man who holds by life tenure, and usually by hereditary right, the chief authority over a country and people. A person or thing preeminent in its class.

Gentleman / Gentlelady - A civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man or woman. A man or woman of good social standing.

Beggar - A penniless person. One who has been reduced utter poverty; impoverished.

Fine - Of superior or best quality; of high or highest grade. Choice, excellent, or admirable.

Manners - A person’s outward bearing; way of speaking to and treating others. The prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc.; mores.

Personal - Of, pertaining to, or coming as from a particular person; individual; private. Pertaining to or characteristic of a person or self-conscious being.

Beauty - The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

Letter of Credit - An order issued by a banker allowing a person named to draw money to a specified amount from correspondents of the issuer. Often used in international transactions to ensure that payment will be received. Due to the nature of internation dealings such as distance, differing laws in each country, and difficulty in knowing each party personally the use of letters of credit has become a very important aspect of international trade.

Everywhere - In every place or part; in all places.

Source: Dictionary.com

Quote #1

One of my favorite sayings is:

Judge a person by how they treat the least among us.

That’s what this first quote is all about. It’s easy to be polite to someone high up on the social ladder. It’s easy to treat them well.

But how do you treat someone low on the totem pole? How do you treat someone who might be at the very bottom of the totem pole?

To me, there is only one proper way to answer that question: With respect !

But unfortunately, that’s not always the way it works.

An Example

This example was very hurtful to the person it affected. I was attending a large social function that was followed by a buffet style meal in which everyone had to stand in line to get their food.

There was an elderly lady who had very bad knees and who could not stand in line to get her own food. I asked her if she would like me to get it for her. She said, “No thank you Stanley, my children will take care of me”. By her “children”, she was referring to a few of those at the social function whom she had raised as a housekeeper from birth. She obviously thought these “children” (now adults who were there with their own families) would be thoughtful enough to get her a plate of food.

After about 20 minutes had passed, I happened to be walking by her and she asked: “Stanley, would you please go get me that plate of food now?” I could see in her eyes that she was heartbroken that none of her “children” had been kind enough or thoughtful enough to take two minutes away from their social function to take care of her needs. My heart really went out to her at that moment. I felt very sad for her, and I’m sure I will remember that experience for the rest of my life.

Just because she was a housekeeper and the people at the function were busy “socializing” with the “top” people in the room, doesn’t mean she should have been forgotten.

In other words, her “children” were not polite to her.

Quote #2

This is something everyone’s mother probably tried to teach them when they were growing up (at least hopefully).  If you have manners, people will welcome you everywhere.

If you are polite; if you have fine manners; it will be as if a banker personally wrote a “letter of credit” introducing you to all the finest people in the world.  Everyone will welcome you into their homes; their businesses; their lives.

By being polite, you are writing you own letter of introduction.

Being Polite Is Sometimes About Little Things

Little things.

Holding a door open for someone.  Saying thank you.  Smiling.  All of those things cost us little if nothing, YET, WHY DON’T PEOPLE DO THEM MORE OFTEN?

Personally, I think it’s because our society does not stress these characteristics enough.  Turn on the television.  When is the last time you saw a television show that focused on being polite?  About the only one I can think of might by Nanny 911 or something like that, where they are at least “attempting” to teach the children to behave properly.

Life is about so many little things.  Being polite is one of them.

Say thank you at every opportunity.  Hold a door open for someone.  Smile.  I promise you it won’t hurt you a bit and it will probably help.

Practice at least one random act of kindness each day.  The world will be a better place if you do.