Mr. Achievement – Stanley F. Bronstein – Personal Development BlogPersonal Development Blog of the Founder of the Achievement IQ Movement and Creator of the Laws of Positioning

Law #62

Position Yourself To Be Loving (And Loved)

What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things. (Author Unknown)

Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. (Merle Shain)

Some Definitions

Most – In the greatest quantity, amount, measure, degree, or number. In the majority of instances. The greatest quantity, amount, or degree; the utmost.

People – Persons indefinitely or collectively; persons in general. Persons, whether men, women, or children, considered as numerable individuals forming a group.

Need – A requirement, necessary duty, or obligation. Necessity arising from the circumstances of a situation or case.

Learn – To acquire knowledge of or skill in by study, instruction, or experience. To become informed of or acquainted with; ascertain.

Life – The general or universal condition of human existence. The course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person’s existence.

How – In what way or manner; by what means?

Love / Loving – A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. Affectionate concern for the well-being of others.

Use – To employ for some purpose; put into service; make use of. To avail oneself of; apply to one’s own purposes.

Things – A material object without life or consciousness; an inanimate object. Anything that is or may become an object of thought.

Cost – The price paid to acquire, produce, accomplish, or maintain anything. An outlay or expenditure of money, time, labor, trouble, etc.. A sacrifice, loss, or penalty.

Lot – A great many or a great deal.

Always – Every time; on every occasion; without exception. All the time; continuously; uninterruptedly.

More – In greater quantity, amount, measure, degree, or number. Additional or further. An additional quantity, amount, or number.

Fear – A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Concern or anxiety; solicitude.

Often – Many times; frequently. In many cases.

Find – To come upon by chance; meet with. To discover or perceive after consideration.

Want – To feel a need or a desire for; wish for. To wish, need, crave, demand, or desire.

Emptiness – Vacuous. Empty, vacant, blank, void denote absence of content or contents.

Rob – To take something from (someone) by unlawful force or threat of violence; steal from. To deprive (someone) of some right or something legally due. To deprive of something unjustly or injuriously.

Joy – The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation. A source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated.

Source: Dictionary.com

What Do The First Quote Suggest?

The first quote hits right on something that has long been a concern of mine.

It deals with the unfortunate fact that we live in a society that is frequently too materialistic. In other words, we value “things” and “possessions” we manage to accumulate, rather than the people who are in our lives.

The flip side of that is that we often use the people around us, solely so that we can accumulate more of the “things” and “possessions” that we covet so much.

To put it mildly, our priorities are often backwards. We value the possessions and use people only to help us get more possessions. Conversely, we tend to devalue people unless they are able to help us obtain more “things” and “possessions”.

We need to learn to LOVE people, not things. Things are replaceable. People are not.

What Does The Second Quote Suggest?

It suggests that loving takes a lot of work.  It takes a lot of constant, time, energy and effort.  Over time, that works out to be a large expenditure of time, energy and effort.

The quote then goes on to suggest that NOT loving costs even more.   The reason it costs us more is that having a lack of love in our lives leaves us with an emptiness.  That emptiness robs a lot of joy from our lives.

In other words, love, while it costs a lot, fills us up and brings joy into our lives.  While it may not be what you would normally expect, a lack of love winds up costing us even more, because while we may save a lot of time, energy and effort, we will have a huge emptiness in our lives where the joy is missing.

That lack of joy winds up costing so much more than the simple time, energy and effort require to love others.

Just What Is Love?

Love is a feeling and concern for others.  On the flip side, when others show feelings and concern for you, you are receiving love.

Love is something that you both give and receive.

The funny thing about love is that the more of it you give away, the more of it you will receive.  At first glance, that doesn’t make sense, but trust me, that’s the way it works.

The more you give love; the more you get love.

That’s why the Law is structured as Position Yourself to be Loving.  Like so many things in life, you have to first give in order to receive.

Giving Love Makes You Vulnerable

The reason why you get more love, AFTER YOU GIVE MORE LOVE is because the acting of giving love opens up your heart.  It makes you more vulnerable.  By making yourself more vulnerable, you allow people to come to you and you allow love to come to you.

So, open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable.  You won’t be sorry.

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