Don’t Be Afraid To Ask
by Stanley Bronstein on December 19, 2009Meditation for Saturday Morning – December 19, 2009
The Answer Is Always No, If You Don’t Ask.
FEAR IS THE MAIN ELEMENT BEHIND THIS MEDITATION
Dictionary.com defines fear as:
- a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
WHAT ARE THE MAIN REASONS SOMEONE WOULDN’T ASK?
To me, there are two primary reasons why someone won’t ask for something:
- Fear of being rejected; and
- A feeling they are unworthy of getting what they asked for.
I’ll probably come upon some other reasons as I meditate on this thought, but those are the two that “jump out” at me as I write this.
AN EXAMPLE FROM MY PAST
I remember going out on a first date with an incredible woman probably 16 or 17 years ago (before I got married) that I met through a dating service.
At the time, I didn’t have a lot of dating experience and like many guys, I was afraid of being rejected.
While having lunch with her, I remarked that I almost didn’t ask her out, because I thought she was “out of my league.” Obviously, I didn’t think I was good enough for her to want to go out with me and I was afraid of being rejected.
Next I told her that I decided, so what! I was going to ask her out anyway and the worst she could do would be to tell me no.
To my delight, she said yes and there we were, having lunch together.
Do you know what her response was when I told her I decided to ask her out anyway?
She said GOOD MOVE!
You see. Asking her out was a good thing. By asking, she said yes. If I wouldn’t have asked, she would have automatically said no (because she would have never had the chance to say yes.
A DECISION TREE
If you ask, two things can happen:
- Someone says yes; and
- Someone says no.
If you don’t ask, one thing can happen:
- Someone says no (because they didn’t have the chance to say yes).
DEVELOPING COURAGE
Dictionary.com defines courage as:
- the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
As you think about this meditation, I want you to develop courage.
I want you to think of some examples from the past when you were afraid to ask, but did anyway.
I also want you to think of a few examples where, in the future, you will go ahead and ask, despite your fear.
I think you’ll see some amazing results if you do.
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Until next time, take care.
Stanley F. BronsteinHave you checked out my website that profiles the benefits of walking? iWarriorWalk.com
December 19th, 2009 at 10:25 am
HERE ARE SOME OF MY THOUGHTS FROM THIS MORNING’S 3 1/2 HOUR WALK
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EXAMPLES OF BEING AFRAID TO ASK, BUT DID IT ANYWAY
1. Countless business deals. I have found that you should ALWAYS ask for what you want. You may or may not get it BUT I believe the clients who were most afraid to ask who’s deals turned out the worst. Its amazing how many times I saw a buyer afraid to ask so the seller used it as an opening to swoop in and negotiate a better deals. When I told my clients about this they always said they were afraid to lose the deal. FEAR is weakness.
2. Asking for interviews for my 3rd book, AIQ Moments. I asked some VERY big and important personalities to let me interview them. Most said no BUT a few said yes. I had to realize I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
3. The AIQ 2007 tour that was part of writing that book, AIQ Moments. I left home and drove around the country for 6 weeks. It was a little scary but it turned to be a positive experience I will ALWAYS remember.
4. Starting my own law practice. I had very few clients and no guaranty I could make a living BUT I did it anyway.
5. Moving from Houston to Arizona. Once again, no guarantees but I did it anyway.
THINGS I WILL DO IN THE FUTURE
1. Aggressively go after the things I want instead of sitting back and waiting for things to come to me.
2. Be more daring than ever. No guts, no glory.
3. Remember that if my motives are pure I should have no fear.