Communicating With Others
by Stanley Bronstein on July 3, 2009We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us. Friedrich Nietzsche
Why We Need To Listen
The above quote suggests that as humans, people have a tendency to shut out anything they do not like. Unfortunately I have found this to be all too true on many occasions.
Heck, anyone who’s been in a relationship with anyone for a significant length of time knows this. By way of an example, your spouse, parent or child might not listen to you just because they don’t like what they “THINK” you are saying.
They don’t even bother to analyze what you’ve said. They will simply reject your thoughts because they have “prejudged” that they will not like them.
Prejudging
How many times have you ever “judged” someone in advance, only to find out later that you were wrong? Probably more often than you would care to admit.
Every time we fail to “deeply” listen to someone else (or even ourselves for that matter), we are prejudging them. We are forming conclusions about their thoughts, their ideas, before they even have a chance to communicate them.
I believe that when we do that, we are NOT doing them justice. We are shortchanging them and shortchanging ourselves.
From Listening Comes Wisdom
Listening is one the many ways we can learn from others. When we fail to listen, we lose.
Please don’t misunderstand me. There are people out there who have very little, if anything of substance to say. BUT, if we shut them off BEFORE we have listened to them, we’ll never know whether or not their words had any value, will we?
If you bother to actually listen to others; to ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THEM; you just might gain perceptions that others lack. What an advantage that would be for you.
I don’t know about you, but some of the most interesting things I’ve ever learned have come from the unlikeliest of sources. All I can say is I’m glad I listened.
Additional Reading
Laws Of Positioning #61 – Position Yourself To Be A Listener
Laws Of Positioning #72 – Position Yourself To Be Perceptive
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Until next time, take care, my dear friends.Mr. Achievement
Stanley F. Bronstein
Attorney & CPA
July 21st, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Great insights on this post, Stanley! The whole thing makes complete sense when I read it (prejudging), but I didn’t realize that I was probably doing it. I’ll definitely try to listen to everything anyone says whole-heartedly…
…Even my “step” father in law when my mind has already “predicted” the next words out of his mouth is going to be a cheesy joke haha.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Jonathan:
We ALL do it. It’s human nature to prejudge. The trick is to look for little insights in the unlikeliest of places.
I remember this one guy who used to work for my father who I thought was definitely not the sharpest tool in the woodshed. Notwithstanding, I still remember once occasion where he did something that I considered to be absolutely brilliant, YET I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF IT, simply because his perspective was different than mine.
I learned quite a bit from that situation. He taught me more than he will ever know.
Stanley Bronstein