Changing Your Friends
by Stanley Bronstein on December 17, 2009Meditation for Thursday Morning – December 17, 2009
If You Can’t Change Your Friends; Change Your Friends.
What Do I Mean By Change?
Dictionary.com defines change as:
- to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone
- to transform or convert
They also define change as:
- to substitute another or others for; exchange for something else
So Which Definition Am I Talking About?
BOTH.
In the first part of today’s meditation, I suggest that it is vital (IF WE HAVE THE RIGHT FRIENDS), to help them to grow; to help them become something more than they might be if you were not a part of their life.
That’s part of what it means to be a friend. A true friend helps us grow. In return, we wind up growing as a result of what we learn from helping them and from receiving their help.
In a true friendship, you help your friends grow and they help you grow.
What Happens If Our Friends Don’t Want To Grow?
Unfortunately, some people don’t want to grow. They either don’t want to change, or they don’t even realize they need to change.
We could write an entire book as to why they won’t change. However, that’s not what today’s meditation is about.
For the purposes of today’s meditation, WHY they won’t change is irrelevant. All that is relevant is that they won’t change.
So, What Is Relevant?
For the purposes of today’s meditation, all that is relevant is that we realize that IF our friends won’t change, they are “robbing us” of a chance to grow.
After all, if they’re not willing to “grow”, how can they help us grow?
The answer is they can’t.
So, What Am I Suggesting?
If your friends are unwilling to change, it’s time to get new friends.
That’s what I’m suggesting by today’s meditation.
What do you think?
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Until next time, take care.
Stanley F. BronsteinHave you checked out my website that profiles the benefits of walking? iWarriorWalk.com
December 17th, 2009 at 1:29 am
I discovered your homepage by coincidence.
Very interesting posts and well written.
I will put your site on my blogroll.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:44 am
As I thought about today’s meditation, I came up with a third way of looking at things.
WAY #1 was – A normal part of friendship is for friends to “influence each other” to change. That’s how we grow.
WAY #2 was – If our friends are not willing to grow; if they are not willing to change, then we should go out and find new friends. After all, we are deeply influences by the people around us and if we have the wrong ones around us, then we need to get away from them, as they would be a negative influence.
NOW, HERE’S WAY #3 – If they truly are our friends AND we truly are their friend, then we might have an obligation to stick by them and influence them to change. This might require us to literally drag them, kicking and screaming, to the point of change, but perhaps that is what we should do.
Personally, I don’t think any one of these 3 ways of looking at it are controlling. I think we need to examine our friendships on a case by case basis and act accordingly.
So, I ask you.
1) WHO ARE YOUR GOOD FRIENDS WHO HELP YOU GROW?
2) WHO ARE THE FRIENDS YOU NEED TO JETTISON FROM YOUR LIFE?
3) WHO ARE YOUR GOOD FRIENDS THAT MAY NOT BE HELPING YOU TO GROW, BUT WHOM YOU SHOULD “KICK IN THE BUTT” IN ORDER TO HELP THEM GROW?
December 17th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Stanley, You beat me to option number 3. Sometimes it is just our moral responsibility as a friend to drag ‘em where they need to be. Whether that is to an exercise class or a simple Christmas concert, putting people into a good, different environment may turn on a light for them to want to change. It is our duty. Keep the great meditations coming. – Rodney
December 17th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
While I was out walking this morning, I called a friend and gave him a “kick in the butt” he probably needed. . .
Take care and please keep commenting. I’d love to hear your thoughts as these meditations continue.
Stanley Bronstein